Decision-making and problem-solving are two of the most difficult abilities to acquire. The Best CEO’s claim their overall decision effectiveness is no better that 65%. Since huge financial stakes often rest on these decisions, these results should be disturbing. And if the decisions of the most talented CEO’s are only modestly successful, where does that leave the rest of us?
Is it any wonder so many of us dread and procrastinate when facing important decisions or trying to solve nettlesome problems? This is true in our business and personal lives. If only we could find a way to raise our effectiveness.
Here we present a decision-making, problem-solving method that will elevate our effectiveness in this area dramatically. As with so many successful tools, this is both simple and counter intuitive. If we can master this process our lives can be transformed.
The approach that can create almost immediate results is this: Don’t look for solutions to the problem or situation. Instead, examine your feelings related to and that are behind the problem or decision before you. Then work to let go of all resistance to the feelings you have, which will neutralize them.
Why do we have a problem? Why do we need to make a change that demands a decision? When we have fully surrendered all emotions/feelings related to the situation, i.e. let go of resisting any and all feelings underlying the problem or situation, the answer very often is right in front of us, obvious and straight-forward.
Most often, when we seek to solve problems or make the best decision, we have little realization about the feelings we hold that are central to the change or problem we believe needs to be fixed. We may recognize the “facts” of the problem or situation, but it is our feelings about those facts that we most often don’t understand or pay attention to, that drives us to a supposed need for “action”.
We must look to see what the underlying feelings are that produced the question originally. When we eliminate the resistance to those feelings – letting go totally – and the answer will be in front of us. 
Since this is an unfamiliar concept to most, I’ll give three common examples of how this works.
- We loaned some money to a friend and this friend has failed to repay the loan as agreed. This frustrates and angers you every time you think about it or see this person. By accepting and focusing on your feelings of anger, fully relaxing into it, even welcoming the feelings (while dismissing the situation as “water under the bridge”), you will find the anger and frustration will dissipate and you can reengage your friend free of residual resentment. Under this improved emotional balance, the loan may more likely be repaid, and you open space for the relationship to flourish.
- You have an employee who irritates you bringing frequent problems for you to solve. You see them coming and you cringe with reluctance. This colors negatively every interaction and every decision with them. Instead, you can admit to yourself your distaste and frustration with the employee while recognizing your negative feelings without resisting them, and release the pressure like letting all the air out of an overfilled balloon. Then you can approach the employee and the problem with a more neutral attitude, making it far more likely that a positive outcome results.
- A man who had worked as a middle manager for a company for two decades had been passed over for promotion repeatedly. His marriage had soured, and he had frequent conflicts with his teenage son. This man resented his bosses for overlooking him and resented his family for his dissatisfaction and unhappiness. In learning about the “stop resisting -letting go process” he realized it was HIS resentments, victimization and impatience that communicated disdain for his boss, his wife and his son. Within twelve months of committed work on the letting go process, which totally changed his feelings about his boss, his family and himself, he received two significant promotions at work, while his relationship with his wife and son greatly improved.
Tom Searcy BCC
Info@spiritofeagles.com
574-850-9912
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