At our house, planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years has already begun. One of the truly great gifts we give ourselves and the centerpiece of our planning is how to assure ourselves and our family that these holidays fulfill the promise of joyful, happy celebration, goodwill and truly a thankful experience. We practice a stress-free holiday.
The holidays can hold so many stress-inducing traps that many of us barely survive the anxiety and depression that has become the hallmark of this time of year for many. We suffer through gatherings and parties where we “make nice” with workplace colleagues and family members we don’t like to be around. The too-long gift lists along with accompanying financial costs almost guarantees 60 days of ongoing stress. Our diet is thrown out of whack with mountains of food and desserts.
Perhaps worst of all, expectations of festive merriment, optimism and joy collides with the reality of loneliness, heartache and depression that comes with the season. If you can, reach out to friends and family you know are hurting.
Maybe a couple ideas about what we do to reduce the pressure on us, and our families, will help you. First, we are frank about conflicting schedules for get-togethers. No more two Thanksgiving dinners for any of us. We have one gathering for everyone who wants to come, and maybe a smaller gathering days later for leftovers only if energy and motivation remains. Most of us see our family multiple times throughout the year. Why kill ourselves during the holidays.
Same for Christmas…share the wealth. Sometimes we have children/grandchildren over; sometimes they visit other family; sometimes they want to stay home and have just an immediate family celebration. We ask our children who live some distance away to come home once every three to five years for the holidays. That seems to work well for everyone.
This relieves so much work for us and takes off loads of stress. We want friends and family to do what makes season meaningful and happy for them.
Plan in advance your spending limits for each of the holidays, especially Christmas. If your budget is tight, communicate with everyone your spending constraints. Does anyone really want their family or friends to get into a budget crisis buying presents?
Say “No” to invitations to holiday gathering you simply don’t really want to attend. When you go to such gatherings, most often your feelings are obvious. If you can’t find just those special friends to spend New Years with, stay home and get a great night’s sleep. What’s worse than starting the New Year exhausted.
As we recommend regularly know your limits, stick to your values, communicate openly and honestly, be understanding of others wants and desires, and be quick to forgive when unavoidable conflicts arise, as they especially prone to occur during the holidays. You’ll be happier, healthier and more at peace, as will be your family and friends. What better gift to receive – or give – at this time of year than being truthful and authentic!
Happy Holidays!
Tom Searcy, BCC
Spirit of Eagles
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