I’m a little late with this installment due to computer failure and repair. All is back to normal.
In the third installment of “The Blossoming of the Soul” series, we focused on the concept of PRAXIS. I mentioned that the better we understand ourselves, the more likely our beliefs, thoughts, words and actions are to be congruent. Our society places little emphasis on helping us to grow in greater self-awareness (deeply understanding ourselves), and thus it is common that our inter-personal communication can be at times immature and unreasonable. We seem incapable of resolving our conflicts effectively as a society.
We seem to be increasingly judgmental and resentful of others, which perhaps must lead us to the conclusion that we are lacking in balanced self-awareness and the awareness of others.
When we encounter someone wise in the area of interpersonal relationships, we are generally in awe of them.
Below are listed only a few measurements of someone keenly self-aware:
- Those who are realistic about their strengths, and open about their shortcomings
- Those with a positive attitude, seeking a win-win relationship, who see the best in others
- Those who are open to constructive suggestions and seek to help others succeed
- Those who are generally kind, understanding, forgiving and non-judgmental
- Those who are aware of their own ”hot-button sensitivities” and who work to keep them under control
- They realize their opinion or perspective reflects only a limited point of view and should be open to further examination
Most people who rate as strongly self-aware most often expend extra effort to understand the personal and emotional attitudes of others and treat others in a favorable and positive way. They seem to understand that each of us has moments when we engage in unhelpful self-protective behaviors and habits rooted in our past disempowering experiences. These wise souls tend to allow our positive traits to define us rather than the negative.
We all can gain a great deal from learning materials that help us examine our values, our behaviors and our feelings about those behaviors. With some determined introspective effort we can learn what might be at the root of our less admirable behaviors and what we might do to alter our conduct.
Self-help sections in libraries and booksellers are exploding in size. Many are excellent in identifying positive and negative behaviors, but unless we have a good level of self-awareness before we open the book, the likelihood that we will recognize our own foibles is small. I have always liked the ancient Chinese wisdom that states, “All men have their weaknesses, and the greatest of these are those unknown to their practitioners.”
Said differently, “The more extreme our blind spots, the less likely it is that we will recognize them. When they are pointed out to us we often refuse to admit to them.”
Psychometric assessments as well as values and belief questionnaires can assist us in gaining better self-awareness. Coaching and counseling along with the feedback of non-judgmental friends can give us valuable insight and help us develop into happier and more effective human beings. Administered properly, anonymous feedback from colleagues often highlights some of our most effective traits as well as our least attractive behaviors. As sensitive as many of us are to these personal effectiveness metrics, they offer us a legitimate and often potent method of stepping into the greatest version of ourselves.
The effectiveness of these tools grow in correlation with our determination to raise our level of consciousness. Improving our self-awareness is, indeed, a worthy goal, for those with an abundance of positive self-awareness are most often the most successful, healthiest and happiest members of society. Truly, to know ourselves intimately is a lifelong effort, and at times a disappointing one. If we are lucky, we can look back in wonder and dismay about how much mindless and inappropriate behavior we left in our wake. (I’m speaking personally here) And we can be grateful we survived the past to live a more enlightened present.
Tom
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