I’ve talked at different times about what makes people genuinely happy, and in this article I will cover four major traits that perpetually happy people possess. Please listen to the end, because this material is important.
Scan the nightly news and cable news sources covering controversial topics that create frustration, anger and resentment across a huge swath of our population…politics, healthcare, education, immigration, racial inequality.
And here’s the thing. These challenges don’t make us angry, upset or unhappy. These topics are frustrating and difficult to solve BECAUSE we are unhappy. If we weren’t so miserable and emotionally imbalanced as a society, we could solve these issues pretty quickly and with little disagreement.
Before going any further, it is important to define Happiness. Here are a couple on point. One definition from FORBES Magazine…”Having a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptional emotional balance.” Another from Harvard University…Having a basic foundational sense of unshakeable well-being. Real Happiness comes from powerful inner balance, not external events.
It is important to note that we aren’t imagining some Pollyanna vision of happiness. Everyone experiences crises, sickness, accidents, losses, some minor and others devastating. People who at their core are happy and grateful with life aren’t as likely to become demoralized or depressed because of setbacks, realizing that living a great life includes times of difficulties and problems.
Four traits form the foundation for true happiness. If one or more of the traits is missing in a person’s makeup, it doesn’t mean that a person can’t be happy, but it does suggest that they might not be able to bounce back easily from the setbacks we occasionally face.
Let’s look at the four traits now.
- Optimism and positivity. It seems logical that if a person is positive and optimistic by nature that this person almost by definition is going to be happy and satisfied with life. There is always a list of things to feel grateful for. Focus on them. Let go the negative.
- Close relationships with family and friends and good relationships with co-workers and acquaintances are powerfully supportive traits predicting fulfillment and happiness in a person’s life. A long-running Harvard Study makes the point. In 1938 Harvard University selected over 700 young men with varying backgrounds to participate. Harvard interviewed, studies and gave physical exams of these men every two years throughout their lives. As of 2016 the study was ongoing and clearly showed that people who fostered close relationships throughout their lives were much happier and healthier than others in the study. Race, ethnicity, education, income, religion and social standing played no part in a participant’s happiness. Good relationships alone accounted for high levels of happiness. Fostering close relationships is critical to true happiness.
- People who are balanced emotionally, who aren’t overly judgmental, resentful, blaming, anxious or stressed, almost always are happy and satisfied with life. Virtually everyone has one buried wounds and trauma’s that limit their success and effectiveness. These buried feelings affect our behaviors and sometimes can be very detrimental to our happiness. Because these wounds and traumas are buried in our unconscious it is difficult to uproot and eliminate them without coaching or therapy. In the last fifty years research has created protocols to effectively clear these gremlins with very positive impact.
- Finally, research shows that people need to live with meaning and purpose in their life to be happy. The effective setting of meaningful goals, whether in one’s work or personally, is important to one’s feelings of self-worth and happiness.
That is quite a lot to consider yet breaking it down into bite-sized chunks is easier that you might believe. I’ll cover these points in more detail in the coming weeks. Anyone with comments they would like to share are most welcome to respond.
Thanks for reading.
Tom Searcy
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