As I look around, beyond the current upsetting events, it’s easy to see our nation is in a frustrating search for meaning. There are popular books published about this (“Man’s Search For Meaning” is just one example), so I hardly feel I’m stepping out into controversial territory.
We all want more success, more real satisfaction and happiness, more financial security, solid relationships, better health, more freedom or some combination of these qualities. Going in the direction we are going isn’t likely to get us where we want to be.
Why? Because most of us haven’t figured out to any substantial degree our relationship to ourselves. We don’t know who we are, so we don’t know what we want or how to get it.
On closer inspection this isn’t surprising, and it also isn’t our fault. The moment we are born we begin perceiving the emotions, words and behaviors our parents, siblings, teachers, churches, the media and society in general, all of which mold us into our self-image. This all flows into our subconscious and we are unaware how our beliefs, thinking, emotions, words and actions are patterned from these experiences. To age 7 our learning isn’t from observing what happened, but noticing how we feel about what happened. Brain researchers estimate that 95% of our behavior every day is generated from our subconscious brain functions.
We see, hear and feel throughout our lives that we aren’t big enough, smart enough, fast enough, good enough. We hear that we should be more like whoever it is we aren’t. Every institution is bent on changing us to their desired view. I only began to “get a clue” about this in my 40’s! I was profoundly unaware of who Tom Searcy truly was for much of my life. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was beginning my journey toward a greater self-awareness.
Who in our life, a parent, a teacher, a friend, a minister, ever asked us even once what we wanted or needed for our own happiness? What did we love? What did we want to learn just because we liked doing it? Those questions are virtually never asked.
Our problem with self-awareness and self-esteem is serious. Aubrey Daniels, Ph.D, internationally recognized expert in organizational development, states that in the workplace today, employees can tolerate on average only one criticism for every twenty compliments; otherwise they go into meltdown. This sensitivity began at birth and just multiplied.
This long explanation makes the point that most of us, because of lifelong unconscious programming, have huge gaps in our self-awareness. We don’t know ourselves, and we don’t know that we don’t know ourselves. We will never fully unleash our greatest abilities until we develop strong capabilities in self-awareness.
That is a bold claim, Tom. Where’s the proof? Let’s look at this.
Who are the people you most associate with in your life? Your boss or colleagues? Your spouse? Your friends? Your chance encounters? Do you find you really like them, really enjoy being with them, spending time with them? Do they make you smile or laugh? Do they inspire you? Do you admire them? Brain science tells us that the behaviors of people in our life reflect our behaviors back to us, like a mirror. If you don’t like their behaviors, it is very likely your attitudes and behaviors are problems too.
Maybe you can answer this question. Do you think more about what you like, or what you don’t like? In whatever settings you find yourself, are you consciously acting from your positive, confident, optimistic feelings and thoughts, or from your fears and doubts?
Are you accomplishing what you really want, or are there constant roadblocks popping up?
When you have figured out your relationship to the authentic core of you, when you are in full alignment with who you are and what you want in life, everything will come together very powerfully for you. Self-awareness is the process of taking control of being who you truly are. You are consciously taking command of your own power, and it will be clear to you and others around you exactly what has happened.
Earlier, I mentioned almost everyone you encounter wants you to change in some way. This article is written as an invitation for you to change as well…with one huge difference. Unlike others who want you to change to their image of you, we want you to look inside yourself to find the authentic you, the very core of who YOU are. When that happens, the outer world will lose all authority over you, excepting that which you want and which you control.
We are at a crossroads ripe with opportunity for those with rock-solid self-awareness, self-assurance and true authenticity. No matter what changes the future brings, highly self-aware people will be the winners, the one’s to take their success to the highest levels.
Sign up now for our online course, 4 Steps to Freedom, Happiness, Confidence and Self-Discovery. You will be glad you did.
A single discovery can change everything!
Tom Searcy, BCC
info@spiritofeagles.com
574-850-9912
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